in the spring when I wrote about that please me for the upcoming summer, I had not in my wildest imagination thought that this summer would be the summer that forever will share my life up in a crucial before and after.
This was summer when I chose that stopped being thick and turned into a human.
it has nothing to do with weight. It is at best the same as when the summer started. It is purely and simply about how I look at myself.
it starts with this picture.
as a starting point, just a picture of a lady without makeup in bikini in a pool on a cruise ship.
But this is the first time that I have my new bikini on in public. The first bikini I bought for 15 years. It was also the first time I was in the pool on a cruise ship. Lately I was cruise for three years ago, approached me, I am not the pool. The desire was missing, but I couldn’t bring myself to take the swimsuit on, as I actually had with.
All the way back to the cabin from the pool I cried. Tears there was a mixture of joy and redemption. Joy over having fully my fancy and was jumped in the pool. Redemption of the moment that I stopped being thick and short, was just a human being.
Therefore will this picture always mean something special for me. It is to me proof that I could even change anything fundamental in my way to perceive myself on. In this case, it was short and sweet to take a bikini on and jump in a pool.
I know very well that it is not necessarily easy. I have even been more than 15 years to take a bikini on. But finally I did it purely and simply on the basis that it was what I like to. My desire was to no longer oppressed by what others might think about my thick body. Which in essence is all about, that I had to stop to put limitations on myself because of my size.
You can choose whether you want to be thick or human
Our thick bodies do not fit right into an era with a thin body ideal that is very far from the body, we see when we look ourselves in the mirror. We can choose to put under, and save us and shame us. But we can also choose to have the worse. For it is a choice to let our life limit of what others might think about us and our bodies.
it’s me and my upper arms a really good example of this. There are never any who have said something nasty about my upper arms. I decided myself that they were thick and ugly. Therefore they were tucked away in cardigans who did that I have spent far too many summers with having it too hot. Damn, where did I enjoyed this summer with bare arms without warm cardigans, after I last year chose to rid my upper arms.
you can also read it: the sore spot – the upper arms are set free in mind, you can share your bare arms on Instagram with #befrioverarmene
So i have no doubt that this summer will in future come to mean something very special to me. When I hesitate and think that I cannot do because I am thick, I will think back on this holiday and remind myself about what joy it gave me to do it, I felt like and not limit myself because of my size.
I will stick with being a man instead of thick.