I greatly appreciate the kindness. But in between takes kindness, unfortunately, a turning in the direction of just making matters worse.
Such an experience I had a few days before the new year, as I stood in the shop where I buy my favorite tights. With me I had my new year’s dress, as the stockings would fit into.
when I pull my dress up by the bag in order to match it with the stockings, I say to the clerk that I think it is a pity that I have to be content with buying stockings in the shop and tells her that I am quite crazy about their dresses in vintage style, which, unfortunately, does not come in sizes, I can fit.
she gives me a lift our gaze and says with a big smile, that I can easily fit their dresses, or at least the models that go up in size XXL.
the clerk is so enthusiastic to get me to try on a dress that she not hear that I do, that I’m actually on a previous occasion have tried several of their dresses in size XXL and therefore know that they unfortunately are all too small for my body size 48/50.
at checkout tells the still very enthusiastic clerk that the store’s owner makes much out of the keeping of clothes, then all sizes can be with she tells that the holder is size 36, and that she herself is a size 42.
I ask her what size she saw use in the brands, business leads, and she responds
here I was kind enough just to smile nicely, pay for my socks and wish a happy new year. Seen in bagspejlet, I regret that I made do with a smile, friendly and did not have said what I think:
If you like size 42 user size XL, how fa’en pretending you you so, that I with my size 48/50, can get my body turned down in a size XXL? What do you envision, I get out of standing in the fitting room with a beautiful dress that with a bit of luck I can get up above the knees, but never have a shadow of a chance to get the lightning, because it cannot reach around my thick stomach?
Why fa ’ a I said not from?
Here afterwards I regret from the bottom of my heart, that I am not on a little more friendly way had told the clerk that she did not make me as thick anything good by saying to me that I of course can fit the store’s clothes when her eye brides say to her that it is a mission impossible for me and my body to fit the dresses.
that I did not, I did not have told her how hurt it can do on a thick woman, standing in a fitting room and seating voter was stuck in a piece of clothing that is too small or get the waist pinched in trying to unzip a zip in the page.
in short, had told her that her optimism on my behalf maybe just lunede in the short second, where I would like to believe that she havade right in that vehicle could fit, until the substantive sense of struck, and I well knew that it was not physically possible.
Misunderstood kindness compared to thick women makes no difference. In essence, it only makes matters worse. I am therefore going forward with kindness take dialogue, when the opportunity presents itself.
Dialogue promotes understanding
If I could do the above experience though, I’d tell the clerk that her kindness is misunderstood, and that it can lead to an unpleasant defeat for the thick woman who chooses to believe that she can fit the store’s clothing.
I will take the friendly dialogue, because I believe that through dialogue can meet each other as people and reach an understanding of each other’s situation. It makes me think of an experience in a COS-store where I know the box noted that I thought it was a shame that the only thing I could buy in the shop that day were two pairs of socks. The grip clerk on fine show and said very frankly that she had never thought about it before, but that she as well could see that it truly was silly, that their clothing stops at size 44. Whether she ever told on to his boss about the experience, I don’t know.
But I know that I am the day planted a new consciousness in her brain, because I opened my mouth and at the kindness way verbalized thick women challenges around tøjkøb.